


Iron in my Bones (Sorrow in my Veins)

by Stargirltakingflight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Hurt Peter, Identity Reveal, Mourning, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Somehow, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Therapy, Trauma, character study after ffh, life goes on - Freeform, teenagers being teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 22:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19473418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargirltakingflight/pseuds/Stargirltakingflight
Summary: When the story is over, when the boy’s got the girl and the world is finally saved, what happens then? How can he survive in a world he doesn’t even believe to be real half the time?





	Iron in my Bones (Sorrow in my Veins)

**Author's Note:**

> So, like anyone else who watched the new spider-man movie, I was completely blown away. On the way out of the cinema I kept saying “the trauma, oh god the trauma” in regards to that one scene we all know and long story short I felt inspired to write a little something about how things go on afterwards. 
> 
> If you like it, why not leave me a comment? I love hearing from you and it helps me stay motivated!

He doesn’t believe this is reality. In the aftermath of mysterio’s illusions, of their trip back to New York and that fateful day when the world learned the false ‘True Demise of Mysterio’ and the press battle between the Daily Bungle and the combined power of Pepper Potts and the Avengers PR team, his name might be clean again, but his brain is still a labyrinth of wrongly crossed wires and badly formed connections. 

MJ tries to help, she does, and sometimes it works. Sometimes it’s enough, to feel her hands in his, listen to her talk about the Queens murder spree in 1854 and believe in the reality he finds himself in. Some days he feel like breathing. 

Other days, nothing helps and he’s terrified of everything being smoke and mirrors, of May and MJ and Happy and Ned just disappearing and he clings to them, desperate and sobbing with a ferocity only paralleled by the fear in his eyes. These days, he feels like drowning.

Most days he’s just numb. He has super strength, sure, and he’s survived a lot, but as he’d told Happy on that plane,  _ it still hurts _ . 

And he can  _ still feel the building on his back, the feeling of air being knocked out of him as he’s dragged along by a train that doesn’t even know he’s there  _ and it’s terrifying because he knows, with a heavy-set certainty deep in his bones that as a superhero, he’ll get hurt again.  _ And it’ll always hurt. _

Some days he wonders how Tony survived it. Then, he remembers that he  _ didn’t _ .

May sends him to a therapist, but a special one, on payroll for the Avengers Organisation because it takes a certain kind of person to understand a superhero. At least that’s what Happy said as he’d hugged and dropped him off there the first time. 

His therapist is nice. She tries to understand his rambling explanations that aren’t any, actually and sometimes even succeeds. She helps him calm his mind when he spirals into disbelief and fear and helps him with his grief and anxiety about living up to his mentor. But he still feels numb most days. 

He and MJ go on dates. Often times, he’s recognised even as Peter now, so they’ve taken to hitting the secret spots in the city, the ones where only regulars dine and everyone knows everyone or no one cares at all. She’s recognised more and more as well, as are all of his friends, and he hates it. Hates the publicity and the watchful, demanding eyes of the public and wonders how Tony could ever stand it. He watches videos of a young Tony - all playboy charm and swagger, nothing like the man he’d come to call his mentor, and begins to understand that it takes a special kind of mask to hide yourself behind if everyone is watching your every move. 

MJ watches hours upon hours of footage with him and holds him when he cries and sobs and even when he gets snot on her flannels. She does threaten him with her mace ever so often though. 

She’s by his side through it all and he loves her all the more for it. 

Fury’s been quiet since they last met, and he can’t help but be glad. Be thankful he doesn’t have to fight again, because as much as he knows that he will need to again in the future, he really doesn’t want to right now. 

Just for once, he wants to be simply Peter Parker, science nerd in love with a badass girl, with a best friend who’ll watch Star Wars reruns with him until they can Quote each line and an aunt who continues to make him laugh when he needs it. And he hopes, desperately and almost like a prayer, that for now that might just be enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it! If you want someone to talk marvel with, why not head over to my tumblr @introvertedgirlsarentshy and shoot me a message? I promise I don’t bite, and i’d love to hear from you.
> 
> As always, Kudos and comments are much appreciated :3


End file.
